Getting out of my head

When my head is spinning and swimming and all over the place with anxiety and what ifs and stressors, I pick up my camera. This morning I needed to put a damper on all the thoughts and refocus and rebalance and regroup and get rid of the negative. Out of all of the things in my yard it was the cucumber plant that got me. I focused on how the sunshine hit the leaves. The shadows it left. The textures and the feel and the smell of the plant. I got so immersed in the plant that nothing else existed. When I left the plant the things that were super big in my mind went down a notch. Success!

Straight up happiness photos

In the MIDDLE of our car breaking down, me breaking down, etc, we pulled over to assess the car situation and THIS happened and really and truly nothing else mattered!!! After we finally made it home and I got to look at these photos I was so proud of us for seizing the moment. My husband brought out the duck food that I mixed and we keep in the car, and sprinkled it around for them. Many ducks came. Even a cat came! These moments are why photography has simply saved my life! I hope they make you as happy as they make me.

POETRY/RHYME

SOMETIMES

MINDFUL BLISS

BECOMES A DEAD WISH

BLOWING A DANDELION

INTO THE ABYSS

COMING BACK TO REALITY

AFTER A MOMENT WITH A BUMBLE BEE

MAKES ME FEEL LIKE AN ADDICT

MY OTHER REALITY IS TOO PAINFUL TO BEAR

MINDFULNESS IS LIKE A DRUG

WITH NO FIX

BECAUSE I CANT LIVE THERE

AND I COME BACK TO

THIS

A REALITY I CANT LIVE WITH

OR IN

TWO WORLDS

I AM SPLIT

WHERE IS THE WISDOM

IN A COPING SKILL

THAT’S RIPPED

JAGGED

SOMETIMES I MISS

BEING OBLIVIOUS

WHERE DO I FIT

IN THIS LIFE WITH SUCH BEAUTY

BUT EQUAL PAIN

TOSSED IN THE MIX

I WANT TO LIVE

NOT JUST

EXIST

Before I write this next blog post…look at this awesome bird!

I went out to distract myself. It was one of THOSE days. Red flag times 2. I had to not sit here and dwell so I went out to take some photos and came upon THIS magnificent bird!!!! Look at him. I have no idea what he is but he is magnificent. I’ve named him Tristan because I name them all! Tell me what Tristan is and I will give you a million fake dollars!!! Really, I want to know what kind of bird he is!

After Tristan I ran across Emily:

And then some beautiful flowers

And this adorable snail Francis

And do you remember Justice from yesterday?

Well we met his SISTER CLARITY tonight on our walk. It was almost dark, 8:30 but look at how gorgeous she is. They were hunting together and getting little bugs off the ground.

Clarity has one yellow eye and one blue eye. Justice has two blue eyes. Just FYI. It was a wonderful walk that successfully distracted me from my woes.

PTSD: poetry

I saw the white line first.

Then the purple haze

Lavender I realized

31 lines I memorized

The edges sharper on the right side.

I ran my finger over the center

So smooth as if it had been glazed.

Here I lay

In my daze

Staying focused on the shell

In my hand

To keep me from remembering

The scars from man