All of these suicide talks and posts and “ You are not alone “ and just call THIS number is all just bullshit. Most people on instagram just want to post their selfie of the week and put this little anecdote on the bottom of “ we are all fighting a battle.”
The scripture : Do unto others….shouldn’t it be do TO others as you would have done TO you? I mean the do unto implies that we should probably not lie about bobby because then we don’t want bobby to lie about us. Or that we don’t punch susie because we don’t want susie to punch us. Or we don’t cheat on tommy because we wouldn’t want tommy to cheat on us. But shouldn’t we just do for others what we would want done for us? A hug, a person present, a card, a note, a slight bit of empathy? See in others what they desperately need and give it to them?
I just had a friend in need and I drove 30 minutes on my little atrophied legs to be there for her because it is exactly what I would want someone to do for me. I don’t need praise. I would never do anything for someone for repayment. That’s the point isn’t it? Do for others just to do for them.
But not just a catch phrase or mental health month awareness. Come on! It’s always mental health month around here.
And it’s true no one knows other’s battles but most of the time no one cares. So suicide awareness just seems like bullshit because it would infer that others actually gave a shit how another person felt in a way that they would actually DO something to try and help them NOT feel that way. Currently, in the life I live in it is the opposite. We are all aware already of suicide. Who can’t google the fucking hotline number. It’s about more than that. Do we not owe our fellow human beings a moment of our time? Just a moment? So they don’t feel alone? I’d say that would work a hell of a lot better than a hotline.
I mean would anyone be truly surprised if I committed suicide? I’ve attempted it before. My life is shit. I have no one. Ok well I have my husband and his friends have offered a ride here and there but all in all just for me, no one. Not really. My daughter is ill. I am ill. I have PTSD that is getting worse by the moment. Yet if I DID kill myself everyone would be OH how terrible blah blah blah which is all just bullshit because everyone knows how hard my fucking life is and NO ONE has done one thing above and beyond to help me. Because they are off “fighting their own battles” yeah so I get it. And their are battles. I mean shoot my next door neighbor’s wife is ill like I am and he just got attacked by a pack of dogs. How awful is that. And all the neighbors are a buzz but has anyone knocked on their door to see if he is ok? Nah. What stops people from actually taking an active role in being there for someone else? Nothing stopped me from ripping up my legs to get to my friend in need. I’ve done it before and I would do it again. I would easily sacrifice my own well being for someone else.
Don’t worry this isn’t a cry for help. I’m just posing a question. A valid question. People act surprised. People act mortified, horrified when someone takes their own life. A human being can only stand so much stress and loss and suffering in their life and those around them see it. And most choose to do nothing but put a bumper sticker on their car to make themselves feel as if they have contributed and that isn’t shit. DO SOMETHING. Actually HELP SOMEONE.
If I can drive to see my friend, then drive to my husband in the ER on legs that have not driven in 12 years that far, can you not then go to your friend that you know is suffering and just be present?
I’m not going to kill myself. But I am suffering. Read my blog. I am suffering physically, emotionally, in every way I am suffering. From my past. From my present. From things completely out of my control. Watching my daughter suffer as a mother kills my soul. My phone does not ring though. My emails are not blown up with concern. My own family left me while my daughter was having surgery just because they are heartless son’s of bitches and for fucks sake who does that? FOUR years ago! Because I wrote a letter about being abused. I’ve put it on my blog. My family serves as a great example of how deeply people suck and how many can suck. To abandon your daughter because she was abused while her daughter is in surgery, who does that?! My mother did. Because people suck. People are awful. And a hotline and a bumper sticker and a blog post won’t fix that. They need others to notice and be there for them. A gesture of kindness is all that could be needed between life and death.
So someone kills themself and now we have a movement of media saying just call this number but where are real individuals who are actually DOING for others as they would want done for them. Where are they?
I say lets see action or these empty words will just make those of us who really feel alone, feel even more so because we know that these words are just words. And that the chains that weigh us down will not be lifted anytime soon. I can tell you that many men and women could easily come and lifted a few of these chains. They won’t. They will watch as I suffocate under the weight of them and shake their head as they post on facebook “ If we just could have know what to do.”
Wake up call. A suicide hotline isn’t going to save those who are suicidal. The person that is most close to them and knows they are suffering can. But will that person choose to. Will they do for them what they would wish someone would do for them. I do for others what I would hope would be done for me and yet it never has been. I do wonder if it ever will be.
This post I wrote because of an instagram picture that someone just had to post of themself with a hotline number under it. It was so heartless as most of the posts I read on suicide and the truth of it all. To use suicide as a reason to post a selfie…I don’t know where else to go with this post as my brain has been emptied of the subject so I will end here.
This was part of Linda G Hill Stream of Consciousness Saturday…truly totally stream of consciousness and I’m not even going to reread it because I know I will delete it or never post it.