Plethora of symptoms

Last weekend it hurt to turn my head to the right. Eh probably just muscle disease stuff. Then for a week I had chills all night. Eh probably just the heavy metal toxicity. Then my ears started ringing and I felt weak. Eh probably a Lyme disease flare. Then I peed the bed. Eh just another lovely symptoms of a muscle disease. But now I have to wash the sheets with a weak body and a head that won’t turn. Eh just another day with a plethora of symptoms. This morning my shin and hip bones ached. Eh just another symptoms of the iron toxicity and fluctuation. Then my chest started to hurt on the left side. Eh probably just more of the same muscle disease painful muscles moving into the chest. Hard to breathe? Eh probably just that atrophy of the chest muscles that the pulmonologist documented. BUT then a little fear settled in. I HATE when that happens. When the “EH” turns into an “OH NO!” So I searched meningitis, and heart attack in women. I took an aspirin just incase. Then I decided that if I was going to die today I should take the garbage out and put the laundry in. I mean who would want to find me in a bed full of urine right? Maybe this is a seizure thing then…I have been disoriented and confused. Maybe I have a UTI? All things that I can do nothing about as I cannot drive to the Doctor and at this point I would not want anyone to drive me to one. I would get their fabric softener, car air freshener, and cologne seatbelt on me, get judged if I brought anything to cover those items, AND be exposed to the Flu.

After all of this I decided that If I could indeed sweep the floor and put my pee sheets in then I was not having a heart attack. This fear did absolutely nothing productive but trigger some PTSD and make things absolutely worse!

The fact is that I do have a degenerative muscle disease, a degenerative bone disease, and Lyme disease, and chemical sensitivities, and atrophy, and, well, a plethora of other health issues that cause a lot of symptoms.

Which is why I just try to be aware but not stay in the health fear moment too long.

Which is also why I went out this morning and took some pictures.

I am not discounting or minimizing my symptoms. My leg atrophy today feels as if I barely have a leg. It is very painful. Most of my muscles are painful and apparently bladder control is out. I also am having esophagus issues and swallowing problems. All part of this muscle disease that STILL has no definitive genetic mutation cause, just a name with no treatment or cure.

I just don’t know what will happen in my future. And you can say well no one does. But really most people kind of do. Whether it is going to a wedding, graduation, a job, dinner, a date, etc. There is SOMETHING in their future that they can count on, to plan for and to DO. Even tomorrow for me is truly an unknown.

For now, I live in this moment. This moment is filled with extreme pain. Emotional pain. Physical pain. Memory pain. It is also filled with pictures of moments of raindrops where I CHOSE to focus on that and that alone.

23 thoughts on “Plethora of symptoms

  1. Dear dear Bethany: I want to rush and help you!!
    I have some BIG questions – Do you have a fever?
    Do you have chills?
    The breathing problem is also scaring me.
    Darling, would you please go to an urgent care or emergency room to be checked for flu?
    Do you regularly get flus shots?
    How about this year?
    Because I babysit, I have been watching the flu stories. It is very bad this year.
    I would really like it if you could get checked out right away.
    Sending you love. TS


    1. You are SOOO sweet.
      Thank you!!!!!!
      No I don’t have a fever and have not had one at all.
      I got chills after I had an iron infusion and it seems when my red count is off then I get chills again so something has gone amiss there I think.
      I cannot get the flu shot due to my low immune system.
      I have had the flu and I know exactly how it feels. Similar to this but muscle diseases actually feel like the flu.
      My doctor is very on top of things with the flu. The minute I get a fever I go on tamiflu because if it goes into my lungs it will be bad. There have been many deaths this year already especially for those with compromised immunity like me. If I go out I wear a mask.
      Honestly, this is just a group of all of my diseases acting up at once.
      Doc says no fever, no flu.
      My last flu I had a 104 fever and immediately was put on tamiflu and given a shot of rocephin (even though it is viral I know but they take a lot of precautions with me).
      I know I have overdone things with my husband being gone away. Stress has not helped. I’m a bit of a mess but I will be ok.
      Thank you for caring!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, Bethany! I am so glad to hear from you AND to know that you and your doctor are ON TOP of everything! I am so sorry you are feeling so rotten. Sending you imaginary Brooklyn Chicken Soup with Matzo Balls. TS


    1. I have called. They said no fever no flu. My body aches due to some other factors. I wish I could get some labs done to see if my iron levels went higher and that is what is causing this. Nothing would change. I am on chelation and also on lyme treatment.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. My husband is coming in for the afternoon tomorrow to access.
      I also have seizure symptoms and confusion so it could be a HUGE part of it. I’ve taken my temp like 20 times today. It’s actually low. Which happens with my muscle disease, it is hard to regulate my temp so it is only 97.3

      Liked by 1 person

    3. Sadly when you combine all of the diseases I have this is how I often feel. It’s just frustrating that it has been going on for more than a week. Normally this is a few day thing. I know with loss of bladder control and swallowing issues that this is mostly muscle disease issue though. Alas, so many issues kind of why I wrote the blog! It is hard for my doctor to sort it out. The chest pain did have me worried but we have a heart monitor, blood pressure machine and oxygen tester monitor. All normal.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Bethany the photos are as beautiful as ever but I admit I did not look at them as closely as I usually do, because I felt this need to address what you wrote instead this time. I was struck by all of what you wrote and I am so heart broken by all the health shit you suffer from and deal with.

    This is where I lose the ability to truly know what to say. But I hate this for you. I hate that you live with all of this and wish things could be different. You deserve so much better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Not being able to turn my head is REALLY getting old!!!!!!
      Thank you for listening to all of my woes. They all add up and make it very hard to function! Then my husband comes home tomorrow with his thousand hotel smells (don’t get me wrong I love to see him) and I feel I could just break in half and fall apart in all directions all at once. Thanks for hearing me! Just one thing off the list would help. Or my daughter not being ill as well. Or not losing all the people that helped me. Or just having my husband home. Anything would help at this moment. Just not adding to the pile is what I need to focus on. Taking things off and finding some good somewhere

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Exactly lol … Meh is my ‘politically correct’ go-to as well hahaha … you should see the faces I get given … “ummm, what did she just say??” LOL … let me know how it goes πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

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